NEW NOVEL ON THE WAY In anticipation of David Yonki's third book, we thought we'd post the FACEBOOK Interview. Are you self obsessed? Yes. Who Are Your Best Friends? Frank, Jim, David, Mrs. Facebook not in that order. Why do you go on facebook? To check out what people are doing. Who is the person you love the most? Myself. My wife, family, country. Imagine your homeroom teacher with a bikini on.... Let's not. What I dislike most about the general public is... Ignorance and slobs. Wilkes Barre Scranton is the king of slobs who litter. They're a bunch of pigs. Also, asholes, especially women drivers who are using their cell pho Is there any circumstance where cheating is okay? Yes. Looks or Personality? Both. I had them without one and it never works. East Coast or West Coast? West. East. No South please. What is your biggest turn on? A smart woman. If she's not around, Angela Stone. Would you rather perfer be stabbed by a knife or a sword? I'd rather run razor blades over my lips, what a stupid ass question! Rap or Hip-Hip? Shit, neither. They're both dreadful. What motivates you? What other people think. When will you be in Chicago next? When the Cubs win or Lou Piniella strokes out. What is love? A rush, a high. A downer, a collapse. You hope to take the best of the two extremes and make it work. Jeans or shorts? Shorts in summer. Jeans with a blazer, white shirt and tie. Are you a good friend or not ? Yes. But very selective. I just don't pick any asshole. Do you sometimes wish you were a porn star? Only when I see Angela Stone. how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I hire one guy. Biggest turnoff in the oppisite sex? Loud, chatty broads who say "hon", "you go girl" and "awesome". Do you have to go to the bathroom? No. Do you? It's down the hall. do you currently like anyone? Nobody. If you look at the color blue, what does it make you think of? Sky. What is the meaning of life? You're born, you die, and try your best in between. Favorite perfume? Coco Mademoiselle Do you like thunderstorms? No. What would you do if this interview is never ending? Keep going. I love to talk about myself. What is your favorite grocery store? A few. I like 'em all. They have to be well lit. Orlando bloom or Johnny depp? Johnny. What do you think they eat in heaven? I just had a dirty thought. Do you drink coffee? No. Do you like to bake/cook? Cook. Everything I bake, even with a mix, turns out flat. Do you believe in ghosts? No. Winter or summer? Summer. If you could pick anyone dead or alive to have lunch with, who would it be? Babe Ruth (he'd love Abe's) Hubert Humphrey, Ralph Abernathy, Duke Ellington, Richard Nixon, John Chancellor, Bill Clinton and Angela Stone. Do you have any piercings/tatoos? Shit no. What kind of car do you drive? Chrysler convertible. What are your "comfy clothes"? Boxers, football jersey, or tee shirt. Shorts when I'm outside. Don't want to get arrested with just the boxers on. if you were one of the seven dwarfs, who would you be? Grumpy. Is there a sexy? Do you believe in heaven and hell? I don't think there's a hell, hope there's a heaven. I mean what a waste if there's not. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles. What colour are your eyes? Brown. What sort of character would you play in a comic book (hero, humorous sidekick, villian, that abrasive newspaper guy, etc.)? Abrasive newspaper guy. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. If you were on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition; what kind of room would you ask for? Don't know. If you were one word, what word would you be? Amazing. What is the name of your truest friend??? Frank, David, Jim, Dana. If you could time travel, what would be your first stop? Mideast. First century. I'd want to hang with J.C. for a while. What is your natural hair color? Brown. How many people are in your family? Hundreds. Favorite Rapper? C'mon!!!!!! Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? Neither. I'd want to look like Paul McCartney. Whats the First Thing You Notice In A Boy/Girl? Eyes. Face. What language would you like to speak fluently? Spanish. Yiddish. Italian. Desktop or Laptop? Desktop. Whats your favorite sport? Baseball. Are you in love? Yes. How many kids (or any at all) would you want to have? None. Chocolate or other candy? Chocolate. Sour or sweet candy? Sweet. Favorite hot drink? Hot chocolate. Got me through chemo. City or the suburbs? City. What is your dream job? Writer. Author. What religion did you choose to follow? Roman Catholic. Performing Arts, Fine Arts, or Sports? All three. Riding horses or riding dolphins? Neither. Are you fed up of all these questions? Nope. Do you believe a good life is attainable? or is it something that is out of our control ie subject to luck etc. Luck. Totally out of our control. And if we think we are in control, we're foolish. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was the bacon. What is your favorite color? Black. Then Navy. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Stop!!! We aren't in grade school anymore. Beach or mountain? Beach. left handed or right handed? Left. Why are you taking this interview? I love to talk about myself!!!!! who do you count on when feeling down? Myself. No one can really get you out of a rut except your own sorry ass self. do you plan in advance? Like a lunatic. What attracts you most? Brains. Personality. Do you feel comfortable showing PDA in pubic? Yes. How many hobbies do you have? I write. I used to play tennis but not anymore. I guess a hobby is answering questions like these. Close your eyes for a moment, who pops into your head? Geena Davis. Do you say "I love you" in the relationship? Constantly. Aliens have landed and selected you to visit their home planet. Do you go with them? Shit yeah. Don't forget, I live in Pennsylvania. Describe your perfect Sunday morning? Watching Meet the Press while eating scrambled eggs and drinking Tab with a nice summer breeze blowing in. If you could be successful at any job in the world, what would that job be? Politician. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Jamaica. If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be? Babe Ruth. If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook? Pasta. What is your favourite word? You don't want to go there. What makes you cry? Movies. What makes you laugh? People. If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be? My dog. He has it better than me somedays. If you won the lottery, how would you spend your millions? Charity. If you could travel back in time, what mistake(s) would you want to correct? My career path. Do you believe that the cup is half empty or half full? Full. Who was your hero as a child? Hubert Humphrey, John Kennedy, Bart Starr and Art Mahaffey. What do you do for fun? Top the pop on my car, cruise while listening to music. Write. Watch baseball. Watching Maria Sharipova play tennis. Are you an outdoor or an indoor person? Summer out: Winter: In. If you had only six months to live, what would you do first? Panic!!!!! What 3 words would your best friend use to describe you? Funny. Smart. Revengeful. Where do you see yourself in five years? Alive I hope. What are you most proud of in your life? I have survived my mistakes. Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have? A dog. Westhighland terrier. McKinley. Who do you admire most? My parents. Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where? Jesus, no! When do you plan on getting married? I am. I'd be in the gutter without her. Get the number or give the number? Give. I've always been worth chasing. Romance or Kinky? Both. How do you feel? Great. What size shoes do you wear? 10. Water or 100% Juice? Water. Would you rather be hot or cold? Hot. Would you rather lose an arm or a leg? Neither. Favorite Place to Eat? Across from a beautiful woman. Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other? Concert. What is your favorite clothing brand? Tie: Ralph Lauren's Polo and Donna Karan's DKNY. If you had to pick one car, which would it be? Convertible. 1958 BelAir Chevrolet. Your favorite Disney Films? That Jiminney Cricket film too. 101 Dalmations. Both versions. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the women on "The View". What was your last thought? I better answer the last question saying the milk was skim. Juice and crackers or milk and cookies? Milk (skim) and cookies. Favorite fruit? Northwest Cheries. Plums. Watermelon. Are you a cat or a dog person? Dog. Hate cats. Would you rather be blind or deaf? I'm blind in one eye. Neither. Define yourself in 3 words... Generous. Loving. Revengeful. Do you eat cold cereal at night? Yes. Part of my ass backwards lifestyle. What is your favorite TV show? In Plain Sight. Love Mary McCormick. She's the type of woman who could kick my ass and boss me around. With her, I'd enjoy it. Kill the spider or let it out? Kill it. Do you shower every single day? Yes. Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore? A dollar bill if I have one on me. Where do you want to travel next? Back to Jamaica. What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out? Go to a tanning booth, get bronzed just to make him uncomfortable. And of course, refuse to go anywhere with him. What is your favorite food? Pizza. Do you read harry potter books? Jesus, no. What is your favorite place? My bed. If you could have one super human power what would you choose? Picking correct lotto numbers. Have you had a beer in the last week? No. Have 2 a year. Vitamin Water or Gatorade? Neither. TAB, Coke Classic or Diet Peach Snapple or Aquafina. Flip flops or sandles? Neither. What do you do on fridays? Enjoy the day like any other one. What is your favorite song of all time? "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow", The Shirelles. Do you like bananas? Yes.